PRICE  2 CENTS 


3B5 
K952s 

SHOES,  Pias 

AND  PROBLEMS 

By  EVELYN  GLADYS 


iVla.clclen  l^il^reLry^  No.  3 


Published  Occasionally  and  Entered  at  the 
Postoffice,  Chicag-o,  as  Third-Class  Matter. 
(Gratefully  Dedicated  to  the  Third  Assis- 
tant Postmaster-General,  Whose  Artless 
Devotion  to  the  Interests  of  the  Big 
Capitalist  Affords  Unfailing 
Object  Lessons  to  the 
Laborer  and  Enter- 
tainment to  the 
Socialist) 


PUBLISHED  BY 

CHARLES  H.  KERR  & COMPANY 

(CO  - OPERATIVE) 

56  Fifth  Avenue,  Chicago 


Thoughts  of  a Fool.  By  Evelyn  Gladys.  Chi- 
cago: Charles  H.  Kerr  & Company.  Cloth,  $1.00 

All  books  fall  naturally  into  three  classes. 
There  are  the  books  which  we  do  not  want,  the 
books  which  we  borrow,  and  the  books  which 
we  prefer  to  own.  Of  the  first  class  nothing 
need  be  said.  The  second  comprises  that  vast 
mass  of  literature  which  one  easily  assimilates 
at  a first  reading.  The  third  consists  of  those 
books  to  which  one  returns,  again  and  again, 
and  always  with  renewed  delight. 

The  collection  of  miniature  essays  recently 
published  under  the  title,  Thoughts  of  a Fool,^^ 
belongs  to  this  last  named  class.  It  is  a series 
of  reflections  on  lifers  problems,  discursive,  as 
thought  is  discursive,  effervescent  with  wit, 
often  pregnant  with  profound  philosophy.  The 
author  imagines  that  she  is  not  a socialist. 
There  is  a passage  in  which  she  sets  up  a straw 
man,  called  socialism,  and  causes  it  to  cut  but 
a sorry  figure.  Eliminate  this  passage,  however, 
and  you  have  the  most  brilliant  defense  of  the 
ideals  of  the  co-operative  commonwealth  which 
American  literature  contains.  After  reading  the 
earlier  chapters  of  the  book  one  is  tempted  to 
oxclaim — ^^at  last  the  radicalism  of  the  new 
world  has  found  its  satirist.’^  After  reading 
the  concluding  chapters  one  questions — ^^is  this, 
indeed,  the  work  of  one  person? 

For  the  mood  of  the  writer  suddenly  changes. 
Satire  is  replaced  by  allegory,  and  one  misses 
the  originality  which  distinguishes  the  intro- 
ductory essays.  Still  you  lay  down  the  volume 
with  the  devout  wish  that  our  republic  may 
give  birth  to  many  more  such  fools. 

LILIAN  HILLEB  UDELL. 


SHOES,  PIGS,  AND  PROBLEMS. 

While  trying  on  shoes  at  a shop  one  morning 
I was  meditating  on  the  nature  of  problems, 
and  why  it  was  that  I had  none  to  solve, 
and  was  not  even  sure  that  I would  recog- 
nize one  should  I encounter  it  in  my  rambles. 
Presently  I heard  myself  asking,  ^‘What  is  a 
• problem? and  the  clerk,  probably  thinking 
; that  the  question  had  been  addressed  to  him, 
replied: 

, problem,  miss,  is  to  get  a number  six  foot 

0;  in  a number  three  shoe.  The  way  I Ve  seen  it 
, solved  seems  satisfactory.  The  last  place  I 
worked  we  used  to  mark  down  shoes  on  bargain 
Fridays.  I was  new  at  the  place  when  I learned 
' about  problems.  I asked  the  manager  one  Thurs- 
y day  night  how  much  to  mark  down  our  neat 
six-dollar  gaiters.  The  manager  instructed  me 
to  put  up  a sign,  ^ Shoes  marked  down  one-half.^ 
Then  he  directed  me  to  mark  down  , the  size  ac- 
cordingly, and  not  bother  about  the  price  at  all.  ^ ^ 
V ^^We  donH  do  such  things  in  this  house, 
he  went  on  to  state,  seeing  that  I was  more  in- 
terested in  problems  at  the  moment  than  in 
- footgear,  ^^but  at  that  place  we  used  to  tell  our 
customer  we  were  not  sure  that  we  had  any- 
thing in  stock  quite  small  enough  to  fit  her, 
unless  perhaps  a couple  of  pairs  we  happen  to 
y have  in  stock  that  were  ordered  especially  for 
< Cinderella  (but  proved  a trifle  snug)  might 
serve.  We  rarely  failed  to  solve  the  problem 
that  way.  ^ ^ 

While  I was  down  at  the  farm,  I heard  a 
V great  commotion  in  the  direction  of  the  sty 
one  morning.  Investigation  showed  that  two- 
-fat  pigs  were  lying  in  the  trough,  and  the  re- 
mainder of  the  drove  were  exclaiming  against. 


4 


SHOES,  PIGS  AND  PROBLEMS. 


that  bit  of  pre-emption  with  more  vehemence 
than  euphony. 

I asked  the  assembled  disputants  the  cause  of 
the  uproar,  and  was  given  to  understand  that 
they  were  discussing  the  problems  of  life.  I 
asked  them  what  were  the  problems  of  life,  and 
they  said  that  the  pigs  on  the  outside  wanted 
to  set  on  the  inside.  I asked  why  they  did  not 
let  them  in,  and  a great  big  fat  hog  said: 

^^We  have  natural  rights  to  life,  liberty,  and 
the  pursuit  of  happiness and  all  pigdom 
squealed: 

^^We  have  natural  rights  to  life,  liberty,  and 
the  pursuit  of  happiness. 

^^And  the  object  of  life  is  not  swill,  said 
the  hog  on  the  inside. 

^^And  the  object  of  life  is  not  swill,  re- 
sponded the  pigs  on  the  outside. 

^^We  have  a right  to  free  assembly  and  free 
grunts,  said  the  hog  on  the  inside. 

^^We  have  a right  to  free  assembly  and  free 
grunts,  they  all  grunted. 

^^We  must  restrain  our  piggish  nature,^'  he 
said. 

^^We  must  restrain  our  piggish  nature,  the 
echo  replied. 

And  the  pigs  on  the  outside  were  on  the  out- 
side, and  the  pigs  on  the  inside  were  on  the 
inside. 

My  intention  was  to  write  a chapter  on  the 
Philosophy  of  Pigville.  You  see  we  have  books 
on  almost  everything  except  the  pig.  Our 
younger  brother  is  being  awfully  neglected, 
though  there  is  much  to  say  and  write  on  pigs. 
Carlyle  says  they  are  so  human.  Yet  there  are 
some  points  of  difference  between  the  swine 
and  the  human  species.  I have  seen  gentle- 
men'^ who  were  said  to  be  *‘as  drunk  as  a 


5 


SHOES,  PIGS  AND  PROBLEMS. 

hog/^  but  I have  never  seen  a pig  as  ‘‘drunk  as 
a gentleman.  ^ ^ 

On  the  surface  it  appears  that  all  you  can 
say  about  pigs  is  swill,  but  swill  is  only  a small 
part.  There  is  the  religion  of  the  pigs;  the 
political  economy  of  the  hog;  there  is  the  edu- 
cated pig — he  must  not  be  neglected;  then  there 
is  a pig  morality — why  should  not  our  dear  little 
brother  have  a morality?  I studied  them  closely 
and  discovered  that  they  have  no  monogamastic 
marriages,  and  I asked  them  why  they  prac- 
ticed polygamy.  The  reply  was  that  to  do  else- 
wise  would  interfere  with  the  stock  market,  and 
anything  that  interferes  with  the  stock  market 
is  a crime.  The  same  old  sow  suggested  that  I 
should  solve  their  economic  problems.  So  I 
called  them  together  and  said  to  them: 

“You  are  pigs,  and  have  pig  natures;  it  is  a 
mistake  for  you  to  restrain  your  pig  nature. 
You  really  never  do  it,  but  only  make  a piggish 
bluff  at  repression,  which  reduces  the  volume 
of  your  lard  and  the  delicacy  of  flavor  of  your 
hams.  Being  pigs  you  should  be  candid  in  your 
lives.  Your  natures  demand  that  you  root,  feed, 
love,  serve  and  reproduce  your  kind,  and  that 
you  offer  your  bodies  a smoked,  salt,  or  sugar- 
cured  sacrifice  to  man,  which  is  your  reasonable 
service  and  in  consonance  with  pig  destiny.  This 
talk  about  restraining  your  piggish  natures  is 
all  squeal,  and  there  is  neither  coherence  nor 
music  in  it.  YouTl  find  no  peace  in  resistance, 
rights,  or  repression.  Be  good. 

There  was  an  educated  pig  in  the  assembly, 
and  he  took  issue  with  me.  “There  are  certain 
natural  rights/’  he  proclaimed,  “and  it  is  a 
mistake  to  declare  that  we  should  not  restrain 
the  other  pigs  from  invading  the  natural  rights 
of  pigs.  We  deny  that  any  one  has  the  right 
to  deprive  us  of  our  happiness.  And  my  solution 


6 


SHOES,  PIGS  AND  PROBLEMS. 


of  this  problem  is  that  the  pigs  in  the  trough^ 
while  they  have  a perfect  right  to  be  there, 
should  submit  to  a system  of  taxation  whereby 
their  occupancy  will  tend  to  the  benefit  of  the 
whole  drove. 

I never  cared  for  educated  pigs,  and  of  all 
educated  pigs  I deem  the  single-tax  variety  the 
least  attractive.  However,  his  contention  being 
based  on  the  wisdom  of  natural  rights,  his  pig 
philosophy  is  of  a piece  with  that  of  his  human 
confrere. 

Then  I went  to  an  entertainment  and  there 
saw  a problem  solved.  The  performer  had  on  a 
table  before  him  two  hats.  Into  one  he  dropped 
a little  ball. 

^^With  your  kind  permission,  ladies  and  gen- 
tlemen, one  and  all,^^  bespattered,  will  now, 
by  the  mere  waving  of  -i?his  magic  wand,  cause 
the  little  ball  to  pass  f^ih  'the  hat  into  which 
you  saw  me  deposit  it,  into  the  other  * * * 

So,  now  it  has  passed  ‘through  the  substantial 
material  of  both  hats  without  in  anywise  in- 
juring the  fabric  of  either.  But  that  is  not  the 
most  wonderful  feature  of  this  act.  Observe  me 
now,  as  I cause  the  little  ball  to  return  to  the 
hat  into  which  you  saw  me  place  it.  By  the  mere 
utterance  of  a magic  formula,  accompanied  with 
the  proper  manipulation  of  my  all-powerful 
wand,  I command  the  little  ball  to  get  back  to 
the  first  hat,  and  * * * here,  ladies  and  gen- 

tlemen, it  is;  and  you  will  observe  as  I pass  the 
hats  around  among  the  audience  that  they  have 
not  been  injured  by  the  passage  of  the  balls. 
Everybody  applauded.  I have  a strong  suspicion 
that  the  ball  never  left  the  hat,  but  should  I 
see  things  like  the  wise  do  I would  be  no  fool. 

I came  very  near  solving  a problem  once  by 
guessing  the  solution.  My  guess  was  right,  but 
the  problem  turned  out  to  be  no  problem  at  all,, 


SHOES,  PIGS  AND  PROBLEMS.  7 

«lse  my  guess  would  have  proved  futile.  The 
problem  was  stated  in  these  terms:  Given  a 
tub  full  to  the  brim  with  water,  and  another 
tub  full  of  live  fish,  how  comes  it  that  one  may 
drop  all  the  fish,  one  by  one,  into  the  tub  of 
water,  without  causing  the  water  to  overflow? 

My  guess  was  that  it  was  a lie. 

I think  that  there  are  many  problems  just 
like  that  one.  Perhaps  they  are  all  that  way. 

I rather  suspect  that  one  of  the  chiefest  prob- 
lems of  life  is  of  that  same  fishy  flavor.  The 
problem  is:  Given  a God  that  is  All  in  All, 
and  humanity  that  has  only  what  God  grants. 
How  comes  it  that  God  gives  his  creatures  de- 
sires which  he  expects  them  to  suppress? 

My  guess  is  that  the  premises  contain  a lie. 

You  are  entitled  to  a guess  in  your  turn.  If 
you  get  more  comfort  from  your  guess  than  I 
get  from  mine  you  must  have  a wonderful 
capacity  for  comfort,  and  in  that  case  I may 
be  justified  in  the  assumption  that  you  are  a 
greater  (because  happier)  fool  than  I. 

The  religious  problem,  as  I have  been  told 
by  those  in  the  business,  is  how  to  save  man. 
Human  beings,  to  all  appearance,  seem  to  be 
well  content  and  loving,  but  they  say  they  are 
uot.  They  have  information  from  somewhere — 
I know  not  where — that  man  is  lost;  and  the 
problem  is  how  to  save  him. 

After  looking  carefully  at  the  problems  which 
people  are  trying  to  solve,  I find  that  a problem 
is  to  do  things  in  an  ^^undoable  way. 

The  social  problem  that  worries  our  wise  men 
a great  deal  I have  heard  discussed  a number  of 
times  and  various  remedies  suggested.  I once 
heard  a lecture  by  a wise  man  and  the  problem 
of  peace  was  his  subject;  and  the  trend  of  his 
conversation  was  that,  by  having  arbitration 


8 SHOES,  PIGS  AND  PROBLEMS. 

instead  of  war,  we  will  have  peace  in  society, 
and  the  problem  of  life  will  then  be  solved. 

Nature  has  ordained  that  if  you  do  not  com- 
ply with  her  rules  that  that  particular  member 
of  your  physical  body  which  violates  the  law 
suffers.  When  that  member  escapes  punishment 
another  organ  or  member  suffers.  When  a man 
overloads  his  stomach  with  liquor,  headache 
follows.  It  is  identical  in  the  social  world.  The 
disregarding  of  natures  ^ rules  brings  pain  in 
the  physical  body,  or  discord  in  the  social  or- 
ganism, and  that  pain  or  discord  is  not  a punish- 
ment but  a warning.  To  live  in  harmony  and 
peace  is  nature  obeyed.  All  our  troubles  come 
from  the  unnatural  isms  and  wasisms  which 
create  problems.  Nature  is  broad  and  great  and 
openhanded.  It  is  the  broad,  big,  untrammeled 
highway.  And  because  the  wasisms  and  isms  are 
forever  crowding  us  in  the  narrow  little  alley, 
men  find  no  room;  consequently,  we  are  con- 
stantly falling  over  one  another,  and  the  result 
is  discord  and  pain.  To  keep  us  in  this  narrow 
alley  and  maintain  peace  is  the  problem,  and 
the  suggestion  of  the  wise  man  is,  ^^The  way  to 
have  peace  is  to  have  peace,  and  that  is  by  arbi- 
tration to  make  one  or  the  other  of  the  parties 
in  dispute  shut  up,  and  thereby  not  annoy  the 
rest. 

It  seems  to  me  that  all  problems  are  about  like 
this:  How  can  I pinch  the  cat^s  tail  and  escape 
the  scratches  that  are  the  penalty  for  squeezing 
cats’  tails?  The  only  way  that  could  be  done 
would  be  for  the  cat  to  take  a non-resistant  atti- 
tude, and  if  the  cat  could  do  that  (which  by  the 
way  is  not  cat  nature)  you  could  not  then  pinch 
its  tail. 

It  seems  to  me  that  you  cannot  have  peace  by 
force.  You  can  only  have  peace  when  you  re- 
move the  inharmonious  cause,  otherwise  it  will 


SHOES,  PIGS  AND  PROBLEMS.  9> 

only  prevent  discord  from  expressing  itself. 
When  my  child  is  crying  because  of  a toothache, 
it  is  no  remedy  for  me  to  tell  it  to  shut  up  be- 
cause the  noise  annoys  me.  Suppose  she  com- 
plies with  my  request  (arbitration  having  been 
applied  to  prevent  the  expression  of  discord) 
would  that  stop  the  toothache?  Would  you  get 
peace  by  stopping  the  expression  of  discord? 
It  seems  to  me  if  there  is  anything  wrong  in 
the  physical  or  social  world  it  would  be  better 
to  remove  the  cause,  and  until  the  cause  is  re- 
moved, let  us  have  as  much  discord  as  possible. 
If  your  home  is  on  fire,  you  want  a 4:11  alarm 
to  wake  up  the  household;  and  you  are  willing 
that  the  din  and  clamor  of  the  alarm  should 
continue  until  the  wake-up  process  is  complete. 
The  way  to  remove  the  cause  is  to  understand 
that  nature  has  not  given  man  desires  to  sup- 
press them.  It  is  not  in  prevailing  upon  man  ta 
do  things  he  does  not  like  to  do,  or  restraining 
him  from  things  he  does  like  to  do  that  will  give 
us  peace. 

However,  the  wise  ones  are  not  satisfied  to 
have  things  natural.  That  would  be  too  easy; 
and  therefore  they  must  have  problems  which 
can  never  be  solved.  I have  no  problems  and 
no  philosophy  of  Life  to  bother  me, — I just  live. 
This  conglomeration,  the  I,  with  feelings,  emo- 
tions, thoughts,  pleasures,  ambitions,  is  a won- 
derful communistic  society  of  organs  harmo- 
niously co-opertaing  with  no  dictatorship — an 
ararchistic  dream — each  performing  for  the  good 
of  the  whole.  They  have  no  wish,  no  desire^ 
save  the  desire  of  the  whole.  When  I walk  on 
the  street  my  eyes  pick  out  nice  clean  spots  for 
my  feet  to  step  on;  when  it  would  please  my 
stpmach  to  churn  some  good  fruit,  my  eyes  care- 
fully select,  my  arms  reach  out,  and  my  hands 
pluck  the  fruit.  There  is  no  jealousy,  no  bicker- 


10  SHOES,  PIGS  AND  PROBLEMS. 

ing.  In  case  of  an  accident  lo  one  member,  all 
the  others  rush  to  a^ist  it.  This  morning  I 
thought  I felt  a commotion  in  myself.  Investi- 
gation proved  that  different  members  of  my 
body  were  each  claiming  recognition.  The  eyes 
claimed  that  if  it  would  not  be  for  them  the 
other  members  could  not  see  a thing  and  would 
be  helpless;  therefore  they  ought  to  have  all 
the  glory.  The  ears  said  without  them  you  could 
not  hear.  The  legs  said  if  they  refuse  to  take 
me  from  place  to  place  I would  be  in  a bad 
ffx.  The  stomach  said  that  it  grinds  all  the  food 
for  the  nourishment.  Sex  claimed  that  it  is 
the  real  thing,  for  it  is  impossible  for  any  other 
member  to  have  existence  except  by  its  action. 
And  so  on  every  member  set  up  its  claim.  Be- 
fore I had  time  to  straighten  things  out  for 
them  I slipped  on  a banana  peel  and  then  I saw* 
that  it  was  only  imagination,  for  up  went  my 
hands,  my  body,  and  all  to  regain  my  equili- 
brium. No  one  member  can  have  any  pleasure 
without  sharing  in  company  with  all.  In  milk 
there  is  cream,  sour  milk,  and  water.  In  cream 
there  is  butter  and  buttermilk.  In  sour  milk 
there  is  cheese  and  water.  Can  you  tell  me 
which  drop  of  it  when  it  comes  from  the  cow 
is  cream,  which  is  water,  and  which  is  cheese? 
Each  part,  each  drop  of  milk,  contains  all.  There 
is  a stomach,  a liver,  and  all  organs  of  my  be- 
ing in  my  eye,  and  still  they  are  eyes.  More 
than  that,  everything  in  this  universe  is  in  the 
I — trees,  cows,  fishes,  the  sun,  the  sunshine,  the 
rain  and  wind,  the  moon  and  the  stars  are  in 
the  I.  I am  the  universe,  and  I in  turn  am  in 
the  trees,  in  the  cow,  and  in  the  sun,  being  all 
that  I am  in  the  eye.  I have  eyes  and  they  see 
certain  things  which  it  pleases  me  for  them  to 
see,  and  I see  that  they  see.  I have  ears  and 
they  hear.  Certain  sounds  give  me  pleasure,  and 


SHOES,  PIGS  AND  PROBLEMS. 


11 


I seek  them,  and  shun  those  which  give  me  pain. 
I have  a sense  of  touch — I feel  with  my  hands 
and  my  body.  There  are  certain  things  it 
pleases  me  to  touch  and  I touch  them;  and  the 
the  touch  of  others  being  repulsive,  I avoid 
them.  All  members  work  in  harmony  without 
any  philosophy.  My  stomach  (I  used  to  have 
two)  is  always  at  work,  and  when  it  is  empty 
it  sets  up  a clamor;  so  it  gives  me  pleasure  to 
have  my  stomach  filled,  and  neither  myself  nor 
my  stomach  care  whether  we  conflict  with  the 
rights  and  the  wrongs  of  society  so  long  as  we  get 
our  stomach  filled.  I am  very  careful  of  my 
stomach.  I have  it  surrounded  by  a wall.  My 
principal  organ,  sex,  is  the  most  delicate  of  me! 
It  is  protected  by  a pair  of  hips,  that  no  harm 
may  come  to  it.  I am  very  careful  of  my  eyes,  and 
let  down  the  lids  and  cover  them  when  they  are 
not  in  use  or  are  in  danger.  I am  very  careful 
of  my  ears,  and  they  are  protected  by  frames. 
I have  a brain  that  does  the  thinking,  and  I 
have  a hard  skull  to  protect  it — its  private  office.. 

Is  it  any  wonder  that  we  poor  fools,  we  happy 
fools,  laugh  at  you  wise,  whose  wisdom  under- 
takes to  establish  peace  by  force? 

A fool  will  tell  you  wise  ones  that  the  only" 
way  to  establish  and  maintain  peace  is  to  re- 
move the  inharmonious  conditions  that  disturb- 
peace.  You  have  crowded  us  off  nature  ^s  broad 
highway,  and  you  punish  us  for  climbing  your 
silly  fences,  and  even  for  laughing  at  your  flimsy- 
barriers.  Whenever  we  think  it  worth  while 
weTl  ignore  your  imaginary  fences  and  enjoy 
our  inheritance  to  the  earth  unobstructed  and 
unafraid. 

Then,  ye  wise  ones,  ^'What  are  you  going  te 
do  about  it?^^ 

It  seems  to  me  that  the  real  problems  of  the? 
wisest  are  still  before  them. 


12 


THOUGHTS  OF  A FOOL. 


“Thoughts  of  a Fool.’’ 

Shoes,  Pigs  and  Problems”  is  one  of  twenty- 
:five  essays  issued  in  a volume  by  Evelyn  Gladys, 
under  the  title  “Thoughts  of  a Pool.”  On  the 
second  page  of  this  booklet  will  be  found  a dis- 
criminating review  of  the  book  by  Mrs.  Udell, 
a socialist  party  member  in  whose  literary  judg- 
ment I have  a good  deal  of  confidence. 

The  question  has  been  asked  several  times, 
and  will  probably  be  asked  many  more  times, 
why  our  socialist  co-operative  publishing  house 
should  promote  the  circulation  of  a book  which 
contains  a few  shallow  criticisms  of  socialism.  I 
think  Mrs.  Udell’s  review  gives  a pretty  satis- 
factory answer,  but  it  may  be  worth  while  to 
publish  here  the  correspondence  which  I had 
with  the  author  on  this  very  point,  before  I 
entered  into  a contract  for  the  publication  of  the 
book.  Here  it  is: 

Chicago,  Aug.  25,  1905. 
Evelyn  Gladys,  Chicago. 

Dear  Comrade — I like  your  ^ ^ Thoughts  of  a 
Pool”  and  want  others  to  like  them.  But  I am 
sorry  for  one  passage  where  I am  sure  you  have 
made  a mistake,  and  I want  you  to  help  me 
prevent  others  from  making  the  same  mistake. 

I refer  to  the  passage  on  page  223,  where  you 
say,  “The  triumph  of  socialism  would  centralize 
it”  (wealth)  and  where  you  go  on  to  imply 
that  the  international  socialists  of  the  world  are 
seeking  to  establish  centralized  authority  over 
people.  Now  for  this  misconception  and  mistake 
I do  not  in  the  least  blame  you;  T blame  the 
crudeness  of  our  American  propaganda  in  the 
past.  But  I want  to  tell  you  that  the  essential 
program  of  the  social  democracy  of  America  and 


THOUGHTS  OF  A FOOL. 


13 


of  every  other  civilized  country  is  to  do  away 
with  the  coercion  of  persons,  to  confine  the 
activities  of  the  state  to  providing  for  the  neces- 
sities of  its  members  co-operatively,  and  further- 
more to  decentralize  the  control  of  industry  to 
the  greatest  possible  extent,  which  would  be  to 
an  extent  far  greater  than  is  possible  under 
capitalism. 

In  other  words,  the  organized  socialists  of  the 
world  want  what  you  want;  we  are  in  a fair 
way  of  getting  it,  and  we  should  welcome  your 
help.  Are  you  with  us? 

Yours  fraternally, 

CHAELES  H.  ItEEE. 

Chicago,  Aug.  29,  1905. 

Comrade  Kerr:  How  lovely  it  would  be  if 
I were  the  definition-maker.  Then  I should  have 
selected  all  the  beautiful  words  for  my  ideas. 
But  as  it  is,  I must  take  the  words  which  have 
not  been  monopolized  by  the  wise  people.  So- 
cialism as  defined  by  William  Morris,  George  D. 
Herron,  Simons  and  yourself  is  exactly  my  ideal. 
But  I know  from  experience  that  ninety-nine  per 
cent  of  the  socialists  that  are  paying  dues  are 
under  the  impression  that  a socialist  movement 
is  only  a bread  movement.  Now  I believe  that 
the  struggle  for  existence  is  only  the  stepping 
stone  to  a greater  ideal,  and  that  is  the  democ- 
ratization of  art.  Therefore  I can  not  accord- 
ing to  their  conception  call  myself  a socialist. 
Admitting  their  right  to  the  word  I should  have 
to  call  myself  a socialist  ylus. 

To  define  my  idea  in  just  as  few  words  as 
possible,  I should  like  to  see  a condition  of  so- 
ciety where  every  child  in  it  would  have  the 
opportunity  to  develop  himself  in  all  his  facul- 
ties without  any  interference  or  restraint  what- 
ever. That  is  what  I should  like  to  call  social- 


14 


THOUGHTS  OF  A POOL. 


ism,  but  I do  not  care  to  fight  for  a tag.  How* 
ever,  I shall  devote  all  my  energies  to  obtaining 
the  thing  I want,  tag  or  no  tag. 

EVELYN  GLADYS. 

I think  every  well-informed  socialist  who 
reads  this  letter  and  Evelyn  Gladyses  book  will 
readily  see  that  she  has  simply  been  misled  by 
the  persistent  misrepresentations  of  capitalist 
writers,  with  the  aid  of  a few  ill-informed  social- 
ists, until  she  imagines  that  the  program  of  in- 
ternational socialism  is  to  set  up  a tyranny  over 
the  private  actions  of  people.  On  the  contrary, 
this  tyranny,  which  is  exercised  by  the  capitalist 
governments  of  America  and  every  other  civil- 
ized country  today,  is  of  use  simply  to  keep  the 
laborers  under  the  control  of  the  capitalist. 
When  we  have  abolished  the  capitalists,  the 
whole  machinery  for  making  people  '^^good^^ 
by  means  of  judges  and  policemen  will  at  once 
become  superfluous  and  obsolete.  Normal  peo- 
ple will  then  be  ^^good^^  to  each  other  because 
it  will  give  them  pleasure  to  do  so,  and  abnor- 
mal people  will  soon  find  by  experience  that 
they  can  get  along  more  comfortably  by  doing 
as  the  rest  do.  Besides,  they  will  not  live  al- 
ways, and  the  new  generation  will  be  growing  up 
under  normal  instead  of  abnormal  conditions. 

As  Evelyn  Gladys  is  not  a party  member  her- 
self, I think  we  must  put  a grain  of  salt  with 
her  remark  about  the  views  of  ninety-nine  per 
cent  of  our  party  members.  I think  thirty-nine 
per  cent  would  be  nearer  the  truth.  But  even 
so,  what  of  it?  Simply  this,  that  as  long  as 
people  are  deprived  of  securing  possession  of 
the  food,  clothing  and  shelter  that  they  need 
for  themselves  and  their  children,  so  long  their 
minds  will  be  mainly  taken  up  with  these  mate- 
rial things,  otherwise  they  would  die  off.  The 


THOUGHTS  OP  A FOOL. 


15 


democratization  of  art  is  a fine  thing  for  peo- 
ple that  have  plenty  to  eat,  and  such  people  will 
get  it  too,  but  it  is  distinctly  irrational  to  look 
for  an  appreciation  of  art  from  those  who  are 
uncertain  about  tomorrow's  dinner. 

Meanwhile  I want  to  say  that  in  my  opinion 
Evelyn  Gladys,  in  spite  of  this  little  misconcep- 
tion of  hers,  has  stated  in  her  book,  more  at- 
tractively than  any  other  writer  thus  far,  some 
of  the  most  fundamental  ideas  held  by  the  so- 
cialists of  the  world.  She  has  written  in  a way 
that  makes  reading  easy,  she  has  shown  how 
deliciously  absurd  our  capitalistic  society  with 
its  capitalistic  ethics  really  is,  and  one  who 
has  read  her  book  will  be  eager  to  know  more 
about  socialism. 

So  I have  no  apology  to  offer  for  including 

Thoughts  of  a FooP^  in  our  list  of  publica- 
tions. And  in  closing  I want  to  add  a word  re- 
garding the  mechanical  features  of  the  book, 
and  the  favorable  arrangement  I have  suc- 
ceeded in  making  for  our  stockholders.  The 
book  was  exquisitely  printed  and  bound  at  an 
establishment  which  we  have  found  too  high- 
priced  to  patronize.  It  was  designed  for  put- 
ting on  the  market  to  sell  for  $1.50,  and  me- 
chanically it  compares  well  with  any  of  the 
books  sold  at  the  stores  at  that  figure.  The 
original  publishers  found,  however,  that  the 
book  could  not  be  sold  through  capitalist  chan- 
nels. They  have  therefore  given  us  an  option 
on  the  entire  edition  at  4,000  copies  at  a figure 
which  enables  us  to  retail  it  at  $1.00  with  our 
usual  terms  to  stockholders,  while  in  the  event 
of  the  sale  exceeding  4,000  we  have  an  option 
on  a second  edition  at  a figure  which  will  give 
a handsome  profit  to  be  used  in  bringing  out 
more  socialist  books. 


CHAELES  H.  KEEE. 


1,150  SOCIALISTS 

have  subscribed  ten  dollars  each  to  publish  the 
literature  of  International  Socialism.  They  have 
never  drawn  dividends — never  expect  to.  But 
they  have  published  more  scientific  Socialist 
books  than  any  other  publishing  house  in  the 
English-speaking  world.  And  they  get  the  books 
to  read  or  to  sell  for  just  what  the  books  cost; 
they  do  not  pay  profits  to  capitalists. 

These  1,150  Socialists  do  not  want  to  keep  the 
advantages  of  co-operation  for  themselves;  they 
want  other  Socialists  to  join  them.  Ten  dollars 
paid  down,  or  a dollar  a month  for  ten  months, 
makes  the  subscriber  a stockholder  with  an 
equal  voice  in  the  control  of  the  publishing 
house. 

A stockholder  gets  the  company's  cloth  bound 
books  at  forty  per  cent  discount  by  mail,  or 
fifty  per  cent  if  he  pays  the  expressage.  For 
example,  suppose  he  wants  to  order  the  volume 
of  charming  revolutionary  essays  entitled 

Thoughts  of  a Fool,^^  by  Evelyn  Gladys,  which 
was  sold  through  capitalist  channels  at  $1.50, 
and  which  this  publishing  house  retails  at  $1.00 
— the  stockholder  will  only  have  to  send  60  cents 
to  get  the  book  by  mail,  or  50  cents  to  have  it 
sent  with  other  books  by  express  at  his  expense. 

The  discount  on  paper  books  is  even  more, — 
fifty  per  cent  by  mail;  sixty  per  cent  by  ex- 
press. VaiPs  Modern  Socialism,  for  example, 
which  retails  for  25  cents,  costs  a stockholder  13 
cents  by  mail  or  10  cents  by  express. 

A complete  book  list  and  a set  of  five  leaflets 
by  Charles  H.  Kerr,  entitled  ^^What  Socialists 
Think,  will  be  mailed  free  on  request.  A stock 
subscription  blank  will  be  enclosed.  Address 

Charles  H.  Kerr  & Company,  Chicago. 

56  Fifth  Avenue,  Chicago. 


